Russia's Orphans - Haunting Memories by Joe DiDonato

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Russia's Orphans - Haunting Memories
by Joe DiDonato

Five years ago, I received an unexpected invitation from the Department of Education in the Far East of Russia. They wanted me to come for a visit so that we could talk about using distance-learning technology in their remote orphanages.

As background, the DOE in Russia is responsible for the 3,000,000 orphans that live in their many orphanages. Unfortunately, the reason they were considering the distance-learning project turned out to be quite a sad story. They were hoping that by providing more education to the orphans, it would help break a continuing cycle that seemed to plague the orphanages. Former orphans, who were now young married adults, were abandoning their own children when they found themselves unable to earn enough money to support their families. They were just not prepared for the harsh realities of life. Moreover, without family members around to help them, their babies were now appearing on the orphanages’ doorsteps, in hopes that the kids would have a better chance for survival. As crazy as this might sound, these impoverished adult orphans are the lucky ones. An even sadder reality is that less than 50% of all Russia’s orphans will live to see their 20th birthday. Suicides, failures to thrive, severe medical conditions - untreated due to strained budgets or access to medical treatment - and a host of other problems has made for a very fragile existence.

As we sat in the office of the Director, all of us knew that more education wasn’t the entire solution. We clearly understood that the absence of a loving family to guide, encourage, love and nurture these children was still the core issue. However, all of us hoped that by giving the orphans more access to knowledge and education that it would help to better prepare them for life, after they left the orphanages.

After these preliminary discussions, I was off to see the children firsthand. A wonderful physician by the name of Dr. Tatiana Khoudoyarova was my guide as I visited the orphanages. She was both a pediatrician and the Chief Allergist in charge of the health for many of the children in the Far East of Russia. More importantly, she was also the only person that knew enough English to speak with me about the issues during the trip! She turned out to be a delightful person, and it was a joy to have her accompany me on this adventure. When she got around the children, I couldn’t help but smile. She laughed with them, hugged them tightly, and spun them around in circles when they came to greet her. They clung to her legs from the time we got to the orphanages until we left.

Over the nine days I was there, Tatiana and I talked about many of the misconceptions between our countries. I told her that many Americans believed the children were kidnap victims, and that these kidnappings fueled a lucrative adoption market aimed at American families, anxious to adopt. She told me that many people in Russia think that the Americans are ‘buying’ their children to kill them for their organs! The Cold War has done so much to color our opinions of each other. Now, law after law adds even more barriers to adoption, as both countries seek to insure the safety of the children.

Although I could see that these worries were without much basis, I remained optimistically skeptical. After all, didn’t we all build bomb shelters here when these people were our mortal enemies? About 3 days into my journey across the beautiful remote areas of the Far East, I saw something that really troubled me. When I walked out into the hallway, I saw Tatiana giving money to the caregivers at one of the orphanages. Hearing all of those stories about under-the-table-payoffs in Russia, I assumed the worse. How could people who were looking after these beautiful children make money from their misery?

When I finally confronted her, I found out more about this woman in a couple of minutes, than I ever could have found out in a lifetime of misinformation. There was a simple and “amazingly kind” reason behind the money changing hands. It turns out that the caregivers were telling Tatiana that the little girl had come down with an ear infection. Tatiana was giving the caregivers a prescription - and her own money - to buy the necessary antibiotics for the little girl. All this was because her adopting parents from America were coming to pick her up in a week. They were all worried that if the couple saw that the little girl was sick that they would refuse her and ask for another child.

Tatiana said that this sort of thing happened a lot, especially when there were so many kids to choose from in their orphanages. She said many parents were very worried that they were getting children with “special needs” that they might not be able to deal with. She told me that this was a healthy little girl, who didn’t deserve to have her life turned upside down because of a temporary and easily cured illness. She was simply embarrassed that there wasn’t enough money available to treat these kids, and she didn’t want me to know.

So seeing that I was okay with all this – even sympathetic and supportive - she was more open about giving out money in front of me. It was easy to see how special she felt about the children. If the orphanages didn’t have money for tests and drugs, then she would spend her own. Even the caregivers where kicking in their own meager funds to help. When I asked, she said, “No, they don’t reimburse any of us. Anyway, I don't care about the money. I am just happy to see the children get a family to love them.

Author's Biography:

Joe DiDonato was ordained “The Godfather of Education” by Oracle Corporation and was a double-nominee for the CLO of the Year in 2006. After an invite to Russia to discuss distance learning to the orphanages in the Far East, he married the physician who was his guide. Together, Tatiana and Joe have founded The Orphan Foundation. You can find out more by going to the site at www.TheOrphanFoundation.org, or by calling (805) 823-3552.

Posted on: June 29,2007

Email: joe@TheOrphanFoundation.org
Website: www.TheOrphanFoundation.org